“I stopped in the middle of that building and I saw — the sky. I saw the things that I love in this world. The work and the food and time to sit and smoke. And I looked at the pen and said to myself, what the hell am I grabbing this for? Why am I trying to become what I don't want to be? What am I doing in an office, making a contemptuous, begging fool of myself, when all I want is out there, waiting for me the minute I say I know who I am!” - Arthur Miller
I read the quote from Sir Arthur and it rang very true with how I've felt over the last 6-8 weeks I'd say. The grind of work, applications, volunteering, climbing deprivation (heal finger, heal!) and trying to be as stingy as possible for living's sake was wearing away at me. My outlets were more limited as summer had come to a close and my weekend adventures were no more. The weekly refreshers provided by our big Momma were no longer. I was finding joys in my life, as there always will be when looked at with the right set of spectacles...but it was a little harder than it had been. In the back of my mind I tried daily to remember the moment of reprieve would come. And Sunday, it came.
November 25, 2012
My body clock was buzzing away nice and early, as the weekday wake-ups creeped into the weekends. This time, though, I think my body new of the excitement that I had within for this day. I read the snow reports for my three choices - Baker, Stevens and Crystal. Snow? Distance? Terrain? Indecisive per usual, I gave myself a swift slap and remembered that this is an awesome choice to have. Any which way I headed would be amazing. To Crystal it was, my rationale being with the most open I could get the serenity I was seeking. This was to be a solo trip as most my buddies were down in Portlandia for Thanksgiving weekend. My friend Laura was up for coming, but she needed to be back in Seatown for her broski's concert by 3 and we would've had leave the hill at 1...I didn't respond to her text. She knew I wouldn't want to leave so early, and I am sure she understood. So there I was packed and ready to hit the open road. It was super foggy but I was hopeful for the bunches of moisture to burn off in the hot Seattle sun and be granted with a blue bird...
I-5 south ---> 164 E ---> HWY 410 ---> CRYSTAL MTN! (Drive time 1h35m)
Along the way, my excitement was taking form in singing and dancing to any word or song I knew being spit from the FM jukebox that was my radio. This is what I needed...to be out there. Out there became visible soon after I got off the highway and it was a rejuvenating wave of relief. The clouds were clearing rapidly and behind the curtain were some of my best friends...the Cascades. All lined up North to South, the mountains stood still and were a dazzling show just frozen in the distance. Behind them all, Big Mamma had a huge bonfire blazing the early sky, leaving me just to see the Mountains' outlines. The long stretch of irregularity that is the ridge-line never grows old. I just smiled, and didn't stop smiling.
Pulling into the parking lot, I had plenty of time to spare before that first chair got spinning. I was not alone, though. The first lot was nearly full already and my fellow snowsport enthusiasts seemed to be just as eager as me. 'Yee haw!! Shah-reddddd time' and similar sentiments were yelled. Maybe it did rain friday and maybe it did make for some crusty snow, but everyone was sharing in the stoke of it being the first weekend open.
The sun was shining and I was smitten on that first chair ride up. It was 2 chairs to the summit and on the second chair I got to chit-chatting with the patroller sitting next to me. We shared concurrent salivary secretions as we discussed Cluck'n Russians and all their deliciousnesss (Cams 24/7!!!). I also shared with him my aspirations to be an instructor at the mountain. (Still waiting to hear back, fingers crossed!) Before we went off to enjoy our resepctive cosmic rays, he gave me the heads up that Powder Bowl might be worth checking out later in the day after people had broken up the chucks. "Thanks dude, have a good one!" To which he replied.."Yea you too man, hopefully I'll be seeing ya soon!" I hope so too...
I took a second before heading down the hill to take it all in. Maybe the snow wasn't great, but that is the benefit of being an Ice-Coaster...I'm no snow snob. The visibility, though, was as far as the eyes allowed. Mine are luckily pretty good so white-capped mountain peaks are all I saw in every direction. I felt small and it was comforting. There was one in particular that grabs everyone's attention. There she was. The shy giant was an arm's length away. A monstrosity who often hides behind her cloudy garb, when Mt. Rainier says hello she beckons all. The smiles continued. Many laps ensued and I was having mucho de fun. The same feelings of comfort and minisculity were conjured every chair lift ride up.
The sun was getting low and my legs definitely were realizing it had been half a year since they'd ridden all day (no lunch either!)...I was good with the day. The next lift, though, I rode with a kid whose answer to standard lift protocol was a first...
"How's your day been dude?"
"Pretty shitty actually..."
List of things that made Chase's day shitty:
-His girlfriend just had broken up w/ him the day before (not a good one I gathered)
-He came all the way from Port Townsend to ride for the day as a release (4 hrs of travel including a ferry ride)
-His buddy he came w/ 'sucked and he's just sitting in the lodge'
-This same 'buddy' spent all their gas money on booze the night before so Chase was sure they didn't have enough to get home
I felt bad for Chase, and for him to feel this way towards the end of the day still..he must've been bumming real bad. So we lapped together. Lap after Lap we pointed them down the hill and went. I think just having a partner in crime alone made him feel better somewhat. We opened up to eachother on the lifts. Eventually I assured him...
'Listen dude, I know right now things seem super shitty...and they are. BUT, they will get better. As someone who is a little older than you and been through some things I promise you a day will come when you look back and make that realization.'
'Thanks dude, that means alot...I really appreciate it'
'Of course, now lets shred agian...
Off we went just trying to keep up with eachother, meeting at the bottom. Flying over the hard packed ice crystals...ZOOOMMM
'You good?'
'I'm good'
I told Chase to wait before we parted ways...I went inside to the ATM, took our $20 and gave it to him
'Here dude, get home...things will get better'
He was very grateful and asked repeatedly how he could repay me..
'Don't worry about it, just pay it forward..'
Over the years I've definitely heightened my awareness of what I've been given from others...it's been so much. I feel the only true way to put action to that appreciation is through the idea of 'paying it forward' and expressing your gratitude of course. Eventually I compile a little list of mantras I strive to live by...this will be one of them for sure. Thanks Haley Joel Osment!
'Til next time amigos!
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Lightning Creek Campsite, Ross Lake, North Cascades Nat'l Park
'What I see is something everyone should see...
Sloping shades of blue with low lying puffs of intermittent white line the horizon beyond the lake's infinite ripples. Above it all are jagged sawtooth ridge lines cutting into the sky!'
But...I can
Tuesday July 17, 2012
An uncomfortable seat aboard the plane, but I can feel it
A crying baby piercing my eyes, but I can hear it
An unpleasant bitterness from airplane cuisine, but I can taste it
A dirty diaper from my neighboring newborn, but I can smell it.
A dull grey blankets the sky, but I can see it...
Beautiful it is that I can.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Consider me Miles Davis
Thanksgiving 2012
So there I was, the lone blanco among a sea of Persians or brown people as they'd call themselves. The minority who only knew one tongue and felt out of place as they spit farsi back and forth. So what did I do? I took to the Kirkland Signature bottle of tequila, mixed it w/ some fresca and made due as a start. Beers followed. The ethanol loosened the nerves and I was having an awesome time. Everyone was super nice and welcoming, I did seem like some sort of specimen though, answering question after question.
"Why'd you move here? Where'd you go to school? How'd you get such a full head of hear (was seriously asked)? How do you know Nika? Did you go to Western?"
Combating the bombardment of inquiries, I suddenly felt the urge...oooo that urge that I forever will link to a torturous car ride from hell. My bladder was full and I had to go. So, rather than sit and squeeze my shib like a little kid (like I normally do) I located the lavatory and jetted. 'Uhhh one sec, I gotta go to the bathroom..."
As with anytime you get closer to the pot, your body subconsciously knows somehow and loosens your control of the bladder...unbutton, unzip, HURRY, pull pants dowwww...PISSSSSSSS...shiiiiiiii. I didn't get it out in time, but I think the lag time from start to in bowl was short. I finished. Relief...ahhhhh. Now to examine the damage, did I just pee on the edge of my pants a little? Not on my hand. Hmm? I look down one last time. FUCK. There it was...
As if a waterfull had thrown itself down the inseam of my leg, a dark trail on my slate gray chinos ran from top to bottom. How the? What?....FUCK.
O.K....dont panic, dont panic. FUCK THAT, how can I not panic!?
I frantically unravelled the toilet paper and blotted away...c'mon, c'monnnnnnn. Nothin. Shiz.
Tick, tock the time passed and the crew was waiting right outside the bathroom door for me before we headed upstairs to chowtown. Think! Think! (Lightbulb over head!) 'I have another pair of khakis in the car...same color too!' What greater diety planted the seed in my head to bring an extra pair of pants and the same color no less? Thanks for the divine intervention. Actually, I'll chalk it up to my being prepared for any party problem that could've arisen.
Now, onto my escape route...how am I going to....SHUT THE FRONT DOOR...there's a door in this bathroom directly to the outside? CHINGGGG CHINGGGGGGG
OK, I just need to bolt past this slide glass door and hope they dont see me. Open, close, SPRINT..'no way they saw me...I think?...they probably saw me...oh well.'
HURRY HURRY, pants off, pants on...fist pump to self. *Pound it* Yeeeee!
Back to the screen door, BOLT..'did they see...whatever...'
I took a deep breathe and entered the party again. Did they know? Maybe they thought I was weird for sprinting back and forth past the door, but they definitely didn't know why.
If only peeing your pants really was cool...
So there I was, the lone blanco among a sea of Persians or brown people as they'd call themselves. The minority who only knew one tongue and felt out of place as they spit farsi back and forth. So what did I do? I took to the Kirkland Signature bottle of tequila, mixed it w/ some fresca and made due as a start. Beers followed. The ethanol loosened the nerves and I was having an awesome time. Everyone was super nice and welcoming, I did seem like some sort of specimen though, answering question after question.
"Why'd you move here? Where'd you go to school? How'd you get such a full head of hear (was seriously asked)? How do you know Nika? Did you go to Western?"
Combating the bombardment of inquiries, I suddenly felt the urge...oooo that urge that I forever will link to a torturous car ride from hell. My bladder was full and I had to go. So, rather than sit and squeeze my shib like a little kid (like I normally do) I located the lavatory and jetted. 'Uhhh one sec, I gotta go to the bathroom..."
As with anytime you get closer to the pot, your body subconsciously knows somehow and loosens your control of the bladder...unbutton, unzip, HURRY, pull pants dowwww...PISSSSSSSS...shiiiiiiii. I didn't get it out in time, but I think the lag time from start to in bowl was short. I finished. Relief...ahhhhh. Now to examine the damage, did I just pee on the edge of my pants a little? Not on my hand. Hmm? I look down one last time. FUCK. There it was...
As if a waterfull had thrown itself down the inseam of my leg, a dark trail on my slate gray chinos ran from top to bottom. How the? What?....FUCK.
O.K....dont panic, dont panic. FUCK THAT, how can I not panic!?
I frantically unravelled the toilet paper and blotted away...c'mon, c'monnnnnnn. Nothin. Shiz.
Tick, tock the time passed and the crew was waiting right outside the bathroom door for me before we headed upstairs to chowtown. Think! Think! (Lightbulb over head!) 'I have another pair of khakis in the car...same color too!' What greater diety planted the seed in my head to bring an extra pair of pants and the same color no less? Thanks for the divine intervention. Actually, I'll chalk it up to my being prepared for any party problem that could've arisen.
Now, onto my escape route...how am I going to....SHUT THE FRONT DOOR...there's a door in this bathroom directly to the outside? CHINGGGG CHINGGGGGGG
OK, I just need to bolt past this slide glass door and hope they dont see me. Open, close, SPRINT..'no way they saw me...I think?...they probably saw me...oh well.'
HURRY HURRY, pants off, pants on...fist pump to self. *Pound it* Yeeeee!
Back to the screen door, BOLT..'did they see...whatever...'
I took a deep breathe and entered the party again. Did they know? Maybe they thought I was weird for sprinting back and forth past the door, but they definitely didn't know why.
If only peeing your pants really was cool...
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Gobble Gobble
Happy Thankgiving y'all !
I've said this before and I'll say it again, I think with these holidays we often lose sight of what they actually signify and where their origins lie. However, what they do do is ground us all and put our head on a swivel. It forces us to reflect on the many things we have to be thankful for...which undoubtedly is many. As I sit here at work I could easily let my mind remind myself over and over how much it sucks to be 'working' right meow, but that's just silly. On my drive here Mama Nature provided me with a quick reminder in case my thoughts went southward...a beautiful sunrise over the Cascade Mountains to the East. Swirls of clouds were overhead with an underglow of warm pinks, oranges and reds painting their bottoms. Underneath the lit sky was the seemingly endless ridgeline of the cascades marking a clear yet rugged line drawn between earth and that above. Thank you Mama. There is so much beauty around us that takes so many forms, make sure you slow down and take a gander. So look up and around...I am sure you'll find yourself surrounded with love and beauty abound. Now let's eat and trip on some tryptophan, NOM NOM !!!
I've said this before and I'll say it again, I think with these holidays we often lose sight of what they actually signify and where their origins lie. However, what they do do is ground us all and put our head on a swivel. It forces us to reflect on the many things we have to be thankful for...which undoubtedly is many. As I sit here at work I could easily let my mind remind myself over and over how much it sucks to be 'working' right meow, but that's just silly. On my drive here Mama Nature provided me with a quick reminder in case my thoughts went southward...a beautiful sunrise over the Cascade Mountains to the East. Swirls of clouds were overhead with an underglow of warm pinks, oranges and reds painting their bottoms. Underneath the lit sky was the seemingly endless ridgeline of the cascades marking a clear yet rugged line drawn between earth and that above. Thank you Mama. There is so much beauty around us that takes so many forms, make sure you slow down and take a gander. So look up and around...I am sure you'll find yourself surrounded with love and beauty abound. Now let's eat and trip on some tryptophan, NOM NOM !!!
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